Parish News

This article first appeared in the bulletin when Fr. Peter joined St. Thomas the Apostle as Pastor in 2022.

My life is a “tale of two cities.” The first half of my life I followed what the world says will make you happy and it almost cost me my marriage and my family. The second half of my life I have tried to follow God’s plan and though I still have challenges, I have learned that God’s way is a much better way of handling problems than the world’s way. 

Background

I entered seminary at age 59. I am now 67. I grew up in the Northeast United States, calling Connecticut home. I was married for 34 years, most of that in St. Louis. I moved to the Chicago area in November 2013 when the company I worked for almost 30 years in marketing was sold and my job moved here. It was during that move that my wife, Michelle, died from cancer. We had two kids. Michael is now 37, married to Amy and they have three kids, almost 7-year-old Rosemary (Rosie), 4-year-old Theodore (Teddy) and 5-month-old Celia (Cece). They live in Park Ridge. Father Andrew is in Milwaukee. He is almost 35 and was ordained a priest four years ago. 

Life Before Jesus

I was a superficial Catholic. All I thought God wanted from me was an hour on Sunday. I also followed the 10 commandments superficially. I felt as long as I didn’t kill anybody or rob a bank that was all God was requiring of me. My parents had an immigrant ethos and were children of the Great Depression. Their focus, which I adopted, was get the best grades you can in school so you can get into the best college, so you can get the best job and make a lot of money and be happily ever after. This was the priority in my life. This focus worked somewhat for the first 34 years of my life but then it all came crashing down. Putting first priority on work and money vs God, wife or family can lead to problems. 

My Encounter with the Lord

C.S. Lewis said that “pain is God’s megaphone to rouse a sleeping world.” Someone else said, some people are attracted by the light and others only when they feel the pain. Unfortunately, I was part of the latter group. At age 34 my work and my 10-year-old marriage were now going poorly, and my wife and I separated. I was figuratively brought to my knees; my plan was not working and thus I was open to another way. 

I had a distant cousin in St Louis, an evangelical Presbyterian, who introduced me to a God who knew me by name, had a plan for me and loved me beyond all telling. He also introduced me to the Bible which I had never read. I didn’t even know what the two greatest commandments were! I figured if I didn’t know the two greatest commandments I didn’t know much. I had believed in a distant, uninvolved God. I felt he created the world and then left us to ourselves. I started to devour the Bible. I was reading the Bible one Fall afternoon in my apartment by myself. I was reading the first letter of John — about children of the light having no darkness within. At that moment I felt convicted by the Holy Spirit that God wanted me to go back to my wife. I called her up and we got back together after almost a year of separation. I do not recommend any married couple separate as only 10 percent of couples who separate get back together! 

My Life in Christ

The last 33 years. Initially I was on fire for the Lord. I was soon in three Bible studies, on two charitable boards of directors and wanted to leave my job and get into full time helping ministry like Catholic Charities. But my wife was worried about financial concerns being a stay-at-home mom with a young family. So, I agreed to delay any full-time ministry for 28 years until I was 62. However, after three years, I experienced burnout. From then on, I did just one Bible study, and one church ministry at a time. My faith has grown over the years through annual church retreats, Bible study, Adult Faith classes, small faith communities, Parish renewal programs, being a Religious Ed teacher and helping the poor. I still have trials and challenges; this is not heaven here (just a taste of heaven). However, I have learned that God’s way of faith, hope and love is a much better way to deal with issues than the world’s way.

Calling to the Priesthood

When my wife died from cancer in 2013, everything we planned for the future was swept away in an instant and thus seemed hollow. Working through the grief, it caused me to ask the big questions — “Why am I here?” “Where am I going after here?” and “What does God want me to do?” Everyone will one day need to address the big questions often after tragedy like me. My son, in seminary at the time, said that there are only three vocations — some form of religious life, sacramental marriage or chaste generous single life. A spiritual friend asked if I had ever considered the priesthood. Discerning among the three vocations lead me and the Church to determine that God was calling me to the priesthood.

Ask all young men and women to consider all three vocations. Talk about them in the home. Please pray for me. I am praying for you. Thank you for welcoming me. I very much look forward to serving you!

Fr. Peter